Kelvin Mutuoma recalls a heated argument with his parents when he was 17, after breaking his curfew. As a result of his behavior, he was grounded. Now, 27 years later, as a successful engineer and father of three teenagers, Kelvin looks back with gratitude for his parents' strict approach to raising him. He credits their discipline with shaping his character and behavior, tools he now uses in parenting his own children.
Family counselor Dr. Geoffrey Nduati explains that strict parenting involves setting clear rules, imposing discipline, and expecting obedience. While strict parenting can create tension, especially with Gen Z children who often expect a more relaxed approach, it can still allow for open communication as long as parents remain involved in their children's welfare.
Kelvin reflects that his parents’ strictness shaped his manners, attitude, and education, and as a result, he grew closer to them. He believes their approach helped him become a better parent to his children.
Dr. Nduati emphasizes the need for balance. Parenting should be tailored to each child’s temperament. Some children are calm and compliant, while others may be more restless and prone to testing boundaries. A flexible approach is essential for guiding children toward making their own decisions and fostering creativity and independence.
Liz Njeri Chege, now 21, shares a similar story. Growing up with a strict single mother, she initially resented the restrictions placed on her, such as not being allowed to attend sleepovers. However, as she matured, she gained respect for her mother’s decisions and their positive impact on her life. Njeri is now determined to raise her own children with structure, while encouraging them to develop their own identities.
Strict parenting can help children develop discipline, respect, and a sense of responsibility. However, too much control can limit their independence and hinder communication. A balance between structure and flexibility is key to raising well-rounded children who can navigate the challenges of an ever-changing world.
